Lord, I turning it all over to you. I know I go back and forth but I only want to go forth. I repent of all my sins.
Romans 15
-I don't have to take the pain or insults Jesus took them for me.
-He took my suffering to understand me and to feel what I feel.
Psalms 141 & 140:8-13
-I trust you Lord. You have a plan.
-Keep me from evil.
-Keep my eyes on You.
Today I woke up, cleaned and went outside, where I heard God's voice. I was looking at my yard. We love our yard, it is still winter and everything is still dormant. I look at our bougainvillea (I posted a picture of it on the top of the web page) and I think "This dumb bush never blooms till the end of summer. I should pull it out". Then I felt a need to prune it.
As pruned it I felt God say "You are this bush. You don't want to be pruned. You don't even want to bloom until you feel it's time. You are on your time just like this bush you complain about." I begin to prune and God shows me something, "See the dead branches cut right off. There is no life in them. The branches with life fight. They are not easy to prune. But those are the branches of anger, hate, bitterness, and envy. Those branches must be cut off for the bush to grow stronger". "Yes Lord" I start to think. "Please change me!!" I plead with God.
Then I feel in my inner spirit. "There is hope! There is no hope for the dead branches. There is hope for you, Hector, Nicole and Tatiana. There is still life in you, because I dwell in you and I am LIFE."
I felt a peace. I understood for the first time what Pastors and speakers feel when they say they hear from God. I understood what it was like basking in His presence. (end of journal entry)
I would love to say that from that day till now my life has been filled with peace and joy, it hasn't. I am still struggling with my stubbornness of not letting go but everyday it gets a little easier as God continues to show me His mercy and love. It's a daily challenge we have with ourselves to let go and let God. When we do it...when it lay it ALL at His feet, then we feel the peace that surpasses all understanding.
I am very happy to let you know that that dumb bush that only blooms in August sometimes September bloomed in April this year. The picture you see is a recent picture I just took a week ago. My bush that I love so much bloomed. Now if that isn't God speaking to me, speaking to us, I don't what is.
My prayer for all who are reading this to allow God to prune you and make you stronger.
Marisol
Mama!
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